Thursday, 11 October 2018

A 'Snowflake's' timetable in 2018

It had been snowing all night. So at ....
8:00 I made a snowman.
8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
8:15 So, I made a snow woman
8:17 My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere
8:20 The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead
8:22 The transgender person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts
8:25 The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white..
8:31 The Muslim gent across the road demands the snow woman wear a burqa
8:40 The Police arrive saying someone has been offended
8:42 The feminist neighbour complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needs to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role
8:43 The council equalities officer arrived and threatened me with eviction
8:45 TV news crew from the BBC shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I reply, "Snowballs" and am called a sexist.
9:00 I'm on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobic sensibility offender bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices... My children are taken by social services
9:29 Far left protesters offended by everything are marching down the street demanding for me to be beheaded
Moral: There is no moral to this story. It's just the world in which we live today and it's going to get worse.